On Creativity

How's that for a gripping title? If you clicked through to read this, I must assume you are super bored today, and so I'm not going to worry so much about entertaining you. Clearly, you've got nothing better to do.

I haven't posted a written blog post in a couple weeks. All day I've been thinking, "It's Wednesday, and I haven't updated the blog. I really should. What is there to write about?" And then I get distracted by my taco and mentally wander away. It was a really good taco.

When I finally wander back with my full belly, I try hard to think of something. And of course nothing comes. And I wonder why I can't ever think of something on demand. Seriously, I NEVER can.

Whatever. Wander wander.

In school when I was growing up and was asked to do some creative writing assignment or art thingy, I sincerely thought I was the least creative person in the world. I couldn't even effectively be fed a starting idea. It's just as bad as starting with no idea at all. Maybe worse.

I sometimes feel so discouraged and uncreative when I go around looking for something to take a picture of, or try to think of an idea to blog about. Why can't I just see the world creatively when I want to? It's why I hated the assignments in my photography class. I can mechanically produce what's being required, but it just was never going to be something I like. I hated having them critiqued, not because I was afraid of people saying bad things, but because I knew they were nothing. It was very worthwhile in terms of technical execution. And I needed that. But it was, for me, totally creatively worthless.

And then I read this article that Dave sent me a few days ago. (I don't know why it took me a couple days to get around to it, except for that old knee-jerk never wanting to do what someone tells me to. Let me tell you, it is fantastic being married to me.) And I was like, holy wow! I so get this and it is SO inspiring. Now I have to tell everyone I know!

And it also made me think about how I create things. Inspiration comes to me completely involuntarily. And I must absolutely start with that spark before creating something. That goes for writing, photography and whatever else. When I find inspiration, I can barely contain myself! I feel like I might explode from excitement! For real. I have a physical reaction to it. My heart races, I breathe a little faster, and I want to tell Dave all about it in exhaustive detail. (You're thinking: I really wish I could be married to her! She sounds like a dream! I know. Please. Contain yourselves.)

It doesn't even have to be something that's inspiring me to do something for me to get all nutty. I can be (and often am) inspired by food and want to enthusiastically share every detail of a particular meal with any hapless victim to fall into my web of enthusiasm. For instance, my friend's bread recipe. Everyone should have it. (I really really love food, in case you didn't know.)

I'm just now starting to understand and embrace my own way of being creative. I'm such a non-spontaneous person in regular life. I literally can't buy a gallon of milk without price comparing every brand, every... single... time. Statistics is one of my favorite subjects, because I like formulas so much. Formulas are predictable, orderly and safe. When I load the dishwasher, my goal is not to make it all fit. It's to make it all look orderly. Not to suggest that I live an orderly life, because anyone who's been to my house would strenuously contest that. But mentally, I'm quite orderly, and it has many external manifestations.

So, I suppose it makes sense that my creative self would utterly rebel against that.

When I read that article, I felt that explosive, adrenalin-filled excitement. I'm starting to recognize it better, and I like it that way.

So go create something! (Or don't, you know, if you don't feel like it.)